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Read this book at your Peril

 Ten good
reasons not to read this book
R.A. Barnes
Main character. The over-riding reason you
shouldn’t read this novel (or maybe you already haven’t read it?) is Gerard
Mayes. Ger is an anti-hero. Men want to be him, women want to convert him. But
some of those anti-hero attributes should be enough to put you off.

Alpha male. If you only want to read about
dominant men then Peril isn’t for you. Ger is a slacker. Easily led by others.
But that’s not his self-image. He’s in total denial about how others see him.

Eye candy. Broad-shouldered, tall, athletic
and drop-dead gorgeous. He ain’t that. Ger is a bit short, a bit rounded, a
sandy-haired Scot who would be past his prime if he ever had one. But women –
some women – fall under his spell.

Fidelity. Faithful and dedicated to one
woman. Not Ger.
He’s having an affair with his wife’s best friend.

Clean-living. With a taste for a pint or several
and a best friend who has an expensive cocaine habit, Ger fails on this score

High moral standards. The opening chapter leaves no doubts about Ger’s standards. Even his
disposal of the body is shoddy.

Good health. The only good thing about his health
is Ger doesn’t smoke. If you could read his palm the lifeline wouldn’t be long.

Intelligence. Not half as smart as he thinks he
is. The anti-hero’s attempts to outwit his blackmailer and deceive the police
can only end in disaster.

Likeable. Well, I’ll let an unfortunate reader
have their say on this one. If I’m
honest, I wanted to punch the main character in the face. Repeatedly. I wished
him nothing but suffering … I wanted to buy a plane ticket to Dublin just to hunt down Ger–a fictional
character–and kick him soundly in the bollocks.
Enough said.

10.  Conclusive. It
should be all over for Ger at the end of Peril. Having left a trail of bodies
and destroyed lives in his wake, he should get his comeuppance. But he doesn’t.
Not quite anyway.

If you have
been fortunate enough not to read Peril then you might also like to not
read the sequel Getting Out of Dodge. I can similarly
recommend not reading anything else I’ve written.





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And now, introducing that awful, awful book…
 A moment of madness. His choices. Their lives.

Ger Mayes
doesn’t stand out from the crowd and life is passing him by. He thinks
the world owes him a living but is held back by his own minor daily
misdemeanors. That is until he kills a mugger and is blackmailed by a
vicious Romanian crime gang. Ger keeps the secret from his wife, Jo, but
bares all to her best friend, his mistress Renée. He also trusts his
pal, high-wheeling drug dealer Tom, but gets dragged out of his depth
into a world of darker deception. In a deadly struggle to cast off the
gang’s net, Ger becomes more entangled. Can he find a way out and save
those he loves?

Contemporary crime fiction set in Ireland, PERIL
is the picaresque story of an anti-hero. Men want to be him, women want
to redeem him. Ger’s story is fiction, but his origins are real –
everyday folk living and working in a Dublin city center wracked with
organized begging, drugs and violent crime. It’s not all leprechauns and
shillelaghs in Ireland.

PERIL is the first of the Ger Mayes crime fiction series.

Heard of reverse promotion?

For something different in May I’m offering space on my blog for those who dare to write reverse promotion about their book (or themselves). It’s a fun/evil way of talking about your bad characters, or your characters’ worse traits (they aren’t perfect, I hope!), and dishing the dirt on your writing style. 


Here’s my reverse promotion on my romantic comedy – 

A Proper Charlie.

The book is British and set in London, so for any non Britons reading be prepared for a lot Brit lingo that’ll confuse the stuffing out of you. The main character, Charlie Wallis, also has ginger hair, and if that isn’t enough to put you off she’s too needy, too trusting and an utter doormat to her loser of a boyfriend, Andy.

The genre is romantic comedy but love scenes don’t come easy to me so I took the easy way out and wrote bad sex scenes–I’ve had lots of experience (did I just say that out loud?). Anyhoo, here’s short ‘sexy’ excerpt:

He stood
up – it took several attempts – but he eventually stood before her. ‘Had one
pint, that’s all,’ he said, pronouncing pint as “point”. He staggered
sidewards, righted himself, but then staggered the other way. He sat back down.
‘Think my drink was spiked.’
sat next to him. ‘Sorry I yelled, love. I’m tired, that’s all. You could have
asked me about having your mates here. I wouldn’t have minded,’ she lied. She
always felt the need to count the cutlery after they’d been round.
swallowed a belch and nodded.
slipped her arms around his waist. ‘I’m not too tired for making love, though.’
‘Need a
piss,’ he said and pulled away from her. Before he got to the bathroom, his fly
was undone and he was pulling his penis from his boxers. He peed with the door
open and then staggered back towards Charlie, tucking it away. He wiped his
hands on his jeans.
shag until morning,’ he said with a grin. 
He tripped and crashed to the ground by her feet. He laughed, belched,
and fell asleep.

A Proper Charlie is real life, real funny and real pink. If you’re a guy you’ll hate it: no guns (heck, this is a British novel!), no babes (heck, this is a British novel!), and no fast cars (heck this is a …). If you’re a girl you’ll hate it too: no hearts and flowers, no sexy guys (unless you find geeky men attractive) and no shiny, sparkly shoes (I don’t think Charlie has any!).

Charlie lives for love but she’s clueless, and clings to her boyfriend unaware that he’s abusing her trust. She’s clueless in everything she does, in fact, as one reviewer put ‘A Proper Charlie is a piece of steaming shite!’ and her boss Ben Middleton (no relation to Kate) gets covered in the stuff! 

So you see, unless you like annoying characters who are not only unlucky in love but useless, then do literature a favour and DON’T buy A Proper Charlie.

So over to you guys. Write something about your book using one of the below styles (or your own idea):

1. 200 to 700 word article (approx) on why people shouldn’t buy {name of book}.
2. 200 to 700 word article (approx) on why people should avoid all your book(s).
3. 200 to 700 word article (approx) on why people should avoid you completely (as a person and/or as an author).

Article (or bullet points) can be funny, argumentative, evil, an utter piss-take, your call.

Send in your author media (links, bio and pic) and book details (purchase links, blurb, extract etc).

Please send all ASAP so I can arrange everyone with dates using the ‘contact’ button top left of screen. All articles will appear here and tweeted out via Triberr. Intros to your article will be posted to WWBB’s Facebook page. All book covers will be posted on Pinterest in the Book Junkies library.

Come on, be brave…