An Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Semi-Finalist K My Name Is Kendra by Kamichi Jackson Fifteen-year-old Kendra James’ life begins to spiral out of control with the return of her long-lost runaway sister Meisha, and the visit of a young celebrity … Continue reading
just a few stars who have suffered with depression. It can hit us unexpectedly
or develop over time.
like a fungus.
I’d always known my mother was
‘different’. Highly strung, neurotic and impulsive are the few words I learned
from a young age. I think I was more like my dad: quiet, shy and preferring
books to going out; Mum was always dragging Dad somewhere.
the headlines in the early 90s, and she was determined I wasn’t going to become
one of them and put me on the Rosemary Conley’s Hip and Thigh Diet.
weighed barely fifty pounds (3.5 stone). She bought exercise videos and insisted
I did them with her. If I didn’t work hard enough she’d cry.
influence I’m sure I’d have issues with my weight today. Though some would say
I did have a poor body image. I wore
dark colours, and high-necked blouses, and tons and tons of makeup. When I was
dressed in my uniform of black and thick makeup I ceased to be the vulnerable
and hurting Valerie, and instead I became a cutthroat business woman.
was Wednesday, and half-way through the school summer holidays. I had a new
baby brother, and Mum had transferred her irrational behaviour onto him, so for
a few short, sweet months I was free.
funfair that was travelling the region that fatal day. Telling her, I deserved
baby, but he wouldn’t stop crying. Mum was fussing, but Dad chose that day not
to pander to her. During their row and Sean’s crying, I became separated from
funfair was crowded and noisy, and no one noticed my plight—except for an old
lady who beckoned me over. I followed her up a few steps into a caravan.
I’m having counselling now. I can remember her telling me I was cursed, and
that the curse would follow me until everyone I loved would die.
completely ignored, not because she was angry with me but because Sean was
taking all of her attention. I think Dad was determined that her obsessions
wouldn’t affect Sean’s childhood like it had mine. Boy, did he choose the wrong
day to put his foot down! They argued. Sean cried, and I stewed alone in my
forget about the ‘witch’ in the caravan. I had to forget to look after Mum. Dad
withdrew and was no longer the stabilising influence I needed. He became a shadow.
A thin, gaunt shadow with a sickly pale complexion and hollows beneath his
eyes. Mum became more fixated on health. Vitamins and the latest health pill
were often hidden in my food. If I rebelled, she would cry and Dad would just
pat my head and say, ‘Just do what your mother wants.’
her will. It was easier that way.
We could see it coming, Dad and I. Probably why we let her get away with so much,
had we not, her death would have been sooner. Dad had a heart attack a week
later. He died too. I was devastated. My nan, his mother, came to live with me
but she was crushed by his death. I think I felt I couldn’t grieve because I
didn’t want to upset her. But, anyway, she died a year later. It was a bit of a
relief, to be honest. God, that sounds awful.
world, and I decided being alone was the best thing for me. A lot less painful,
anyway. But you can’t stop teenage hormones! I met a boy called Matthew. He was
everything to me. But then I began getting strange dreams, and for the life of
me, I could never remember them when I was awake. My sleep was disturbed, and
I’d be lying if I said it never affected me.
were linked to Matthew with the horrid feeling that something bad was going to
happen him. We had a row one night, mainly because I was cranky through lack of
sleep, and I told him that I didn’t want to see him any more.
crashed his motorbike. Oh, he survived, thank God, but I was convinced it wasn’t fatal because I’d finished with
him. I think he was expecting I would rush to his house with grapes, chocolate
and apologises, but I didn’t. I blanked him. We were over, and guess what?
after that. They didn’t last; I didn’t let them.
therefore I am. Available in most stores:
for many suffering the infamous Black Dog. It was therapeutic writing it, but
it’s not a story just about me. Lex Kendal was a big-headed playboy with too
much money and an ego the size of The Statue of Liberty.
those hectic few months of meeting.
Fall of the Misanthrope: I bitch therefore I am
is cheaper than the energy pills I used to pop.
Best-selling author Marion L. Thomas appeared on my blog back last year in May with
Color Me Jazzmyne. She is an active supporter of victims of child abuse, and her books aim to educate as well as entertain.
What type of book is it?
Marian will be a guest blogger for some of the most amazing blogs. Visit each blog, leave a comment and your name will be entered into a drawing for one signed copy of my book. The person who has left the most comments (one per blog) will win. Ready to win? Start with leaving a comment on this blog.
Color Me Jazzmyne is both contemporary fiction and literary entertainment that focusing on character and plot development. Poetic and filled with melodious tones, it derives its inspiration from the real life experiences that many woman and children of abuse face. It is emotional, captivating and sparked with the elements of reality to make a true reader connection.Author Website: http://www.marianlthomas.com/