therefore I am
yourself? Where were you born/grew up? Your background?
there too. I lived with my parents and brother until—
say it’s therapeutic talking about ones problems, don’t they? I was eight years
old, and Mum had always been neurotic, guess that’s where I get it from, and
when I was eight she had a baby. All was fine until we went to that funfair and
I met a witch *embarrassed cough*. Oh, I know she wasn’t a witch now, but tell that to an eight year old
about it in time, I suppose, only that night Sean, my brother, died. My mum, as
I’d said, was already over-anxious and became obsessed with my heath after his
death. Dad had withdrawn, so I felt I was on my own. Imagine having your health
analysed all the time and vitamin tables wrapped up so they looked like sweet,
and then not being about to discuss it with anyone. That’s what it was like. But,
anyway, she committed suicide when I was sixteen, so—
her help, but that’s hindsight for you. Anyway, a week later my dad died. He
had a heart attack. Apparently, he had a bad heart, only I didn’t know that at
the time. He’d already had a heart attack when I younger.
seventeen? What about other relatives?
she was old and died a year later. I was a well-off eighteen year old! *Hollow
laugh*. But I’d have returned all the money to have my parents and brother
college. He was a maths teacher, but I didn’t fancy teaching kids. *Shudders*.
In the end, I went into finance and ended up with my own brokerage with Sunny
Oak. Then I met a man, Matt, and fell in love.
waking in the night for no reason. I was dreaming horrible things that woke me up,
yet I couldn’t remember what they were about, only that they terrified me. I
felt they were connected to Matt, somehow. I felt . . . doom. That’s the only
way I can describe it. So I dumped him.
am. He had an accident on his motorbike, you see, and I’m convinced he survived because I finished with him.
Don’t you see? Everyone I love will die. The witch was right. That’s why I hold
myself so aloof from everyone. I can’t get too close. It’s too dangerous.
a dirty look* OK, let’s change the
subject. How is your brokerage doing?
owner, Lex Kendal, has bought insurance off me. So, business is doing well,
thank you. He’s a bit of a playboy, always in the papers with some ditzy blonde
on his arm. Needs bringing down a peg or two if you ask me.
without the odd fling, so I know what I’m talking about. I just don’t get too
close. Keep everyone at arm’s length has become my motto. I think it was a
shock to his ego that I didn’t fall at his feet. Wish he’d take no for an
answer, though. He’s over-confident, arrogant, spoilt and, dammit, sexy!
Fall of the Misanthrope: I bitch therefore I am and my fall back into the real world. The Fall of the Misanthrope: I bitch I am
is cheaper than the energy pills I used to pop to keep me from sleeping and having nightmares.
tilt to my head. ‘You and I both know what that really means. So let’s cut the
bullshit, OK?’ I was a modern woman. I was in control, and I fancied the pants
off Lex Kendal. I’d have sounded pretty forceful except my words became a
little tangled, and his roguish grin widened.
Anthrope?’ Before I knew it, he’d climbed out of the car and was at my side,
opening my door. He held out his hand to me. ‘You have a deal, Miss Anthrope,’
he said. His breathing had become deep. ‘You fancy me, I fancy you. Let’s get
the ball rolling, shall we? No crap.’
certain of what I wanted – sex. I was in control. That was, after all, the
essence of me. We almost fell into my hallway, our hands roaming over each
his forehead against mine. ‘I brought you home so I could make love to you. But
I can’t take advantage of a drunken woman.’
from each other. ‘Maybe tipsy, but not drunk.’ I pressed my body against his.
As long as I was in control, I felt safe. ‘We’re adults, Lex, and we both know
what the other wants.’
flicked my tongue towards his mouth, and moved my hands down towards the buckle
on his belt. ‘Neither of us wants a relationship,’ I said. ‘Ours will be our
own private agreement.’
again. His hands under my dress; on my thighs; bum. His thumbs hooked over my
knickers and he began to ease them down, while his mouth nuzzled my neck.
It felt like the right thing to do.