Robert George Pottorff braves the Boring Author Interview to discuss his many books

Boring Author Interview Revisited

Time Bow | Robert George Pottorffs’ Army of Sol
Blizzard: Origin | Blizzard Spread

What’s so great about your crap book? (Don’t want the boring details, a couple of lines is suffice!)
I speak to your children whom you won’t claim, (But know are yours) and I teach them how to react to the world around you in a cool manner.

I’ve four brats delightful children and however many times I try and tell them it’s time they got jobs and moved out they just giggle and say, Mummy, we’re only little. Sheesh.

What do you really think about erotica? Is it the low of the lows for writers?
Erotica fills a need for people who never get any erotica in their own lives, and has an historic place in human history right alongside the caveman’ club.

If you didn’t have your book professionally edited: What made you think you’re so perfect that you didn’t need to pay a professional?  
Most people today don’t read beyond close captions. So long as it looks right, it will scroll off the screen before they notice any errors.
Oh wow, I don’t think so. Hope not anyway! That’s saying most people are illiterate.

Yawn, so basically you’re the same as all the rest of the authors on Amazon and you’re the Next Best Thing. I don’t think so. Come on, tell me why should I spend time reading YOUR book over more well-received authors?  
Unlike some publishers; I do not follow the hundred-year rule, and leave outdated behaviors in my tales, many behaviors are timeless, and I choose which I keep..

Is there an author who inspires (perspires) you?

I am who I aspire to be. 
Good answer!

Do you think you write better than them?
Story telling has come a long way from scratching out tales with chicken feathers dabbing in a smug pot. It isn’t a matter of ‘be better’, it is a matter of ‘be relevant’. Writers of every era address issues of their surroundings, and so do I.

Is your aim to out-sell them?
Wouldn’t that be nice? Many past writers never received pay more than cents per word, nor sold outside their own areas.

In the writing world, have you ever regretted anything i.e written your own review (or written a bad review on a competitor’s novel), argued on-line, copied someone else’s idea?
No. Some ideals are not possessions of those who claim them; they are as timeless as man himself is. 
What qualifications do you have for writing in your genre?

My qualification is I don’t normally get caught telling lies, and those few times I have; they simply threw up their hand with no way to refute my assertions, and walk away. I love my writings, and have fun creating these stories. Enjoyment is the standard of entertainment.

Many authors use their qualifications to show off their so-called talents i.e. crime writers are often coppers (police, for the non-Brits present) and the book becomes boringly technical. How have you managed to keep your knowledge low key? Or haven’t you bothered?
Common knowledge isn’t always common; twisted truths woven in the text often mislead the reader to believe larger lies in the stories in spite of knowing from experiences.
You sound like a very deep person. Can you hear me from down there? Helllooooo…

If I were to read your book would I have to scroll through lots of acknowledgements saying how wonderful your book is before I got to the meat of a story?
No, however, you would have to read it to arrive to a decision concerning if you like it or not.
Well, doh!

What part of the world do you come from?
The United States of PANAM. 

What do you think of your government?
I didn’t vote for it, but I watch the games every year to cheer for my district. 

If your book is set outside England would I understand your jargon? I mean, fanny means lady front parts NOT backside, car hood is a car bonnet–everyone knows that, right? Are British Englishisms/Americanisms/Australianisms etc important in your book? It’s all about identity, isn’t it?
Yes you would as English; is explained in every dictionary on the subject.

But it’s harder to find a dictionary for every country’s jargon. I know it’s refreshing to read something different and be educated but sometimes it’s tiring having to put the book down, find a computer (or dictionary) to read up a word. Or is that me being lazy?

Why that shitty title?
It fits in the story in some way, and there is a place inside to wipe your eyes.

Did you run out of ideas?
No, when that happens I wait for your behavior to show me the answer.

If you were me (you know, perfect) and knew nothing about a person and you were told to interview them, what’s the one question you would ask? (answer it).
Did you enjoy writing the tale?
Yes, if it isn’t fun for the writer, how can it be fun for the reader?

How long did it take you to complete your book (from idea to publication)?
Depends on which one you want to know about. Every story is different in the time it takes to create, but generally speaking, statutes of limitations must pass before I release a tale. 

If it took under a year to write: It didn’t take you long to write so does that mean it is poorly researched, edited and written on a whim?
Stories tell themselves in however long it takes to express the end. 

If it took over a year to write: Does that mean this book is boringly long and laborious to read?
No, excessive time isn’t a factor. Prison Weekend Work release is often is the real reason for delays.

Do you have any bad habits, or stupid rituals you HAVE to do in order to write?
I have to like the stories to finish them; as for habits, if you can get away with doing it, they aren’t bad. 
Ooh, I LIKE that! Habits aren’t bad if you can get away with them–yes, perfect.

Authors are usually labelled as ‘dreamers’ and ‘loners’. Have you been labelled as such? And what implications do you think that has on a writer?
No, labels like book titles do not completely reflect what is inside, however “loner” is far better than “Drunken @#$#@”. 

What do you think of social media (pick one answer):
1. Somewhere to advertise my book.
2. Somewhere to interact with other writers.
3. Somewhere to find information
4. All of the above.

You should add a fifth selection
5. A place to borrow money to pay my liquor store bill.

I’m beginning to think most writers are raving alcoholics!

Does ‘being a writer’ make you feel like an outsider with normal, everyday people such as your family and friends?
No, my stories are about your behaviors, and they are included. 

Describe your perfect death (in case I have to kill you)?

Pizza and beer overdose


Give me the first, middle and end line in your book.

First line is the title, and middle lines are various; however, they finish with; the end.

Thanks Robert, good luck with the books.

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