Amazon

there’s someone else. 


And no, you don’t know him. It’s not Smashwords. I know, he and I have had our little flings in the past but he was too OCD, you know the type, not validated this, copyright page that, no indents, lots of indents… I couldn’t keep up.

My author introduced me to D2D and he isn’t the poor man’s little robot brother from Star Wars, before you ask. He’s laid-back and easy to approach. Our eyes met and that, as they say, was that. 


He was also quick. You took forever! There is only so much foreplay a girl can take before her mind starts to wander.

What do you mean, I’m shallow?


You wouldn’t let me see my friends or even my family! I had to be exclusive to you and it was hard when I saw other books proudly showing off their other formats. You do realise that ‘different format’ is what shoes are to most female humans. One can never have too many.


We’ll still be friends, KDP Select, and I’m not leaving you completely because I adore your big brother. But before we part company, I’d like to leave you with a present. Me.


I’m free for the last time.


Foreplay allowed.

Mwuh!