Grumpy Observations from a middle-aged tart.

  1. Why do little old ladies assume everyone under twenty are out to mug them? 
  2. Why is it I spend ages trying to get the polythene off cucumbers, something we wash, yet instore bakeries leave their bread uncovered, just so horrible, snotty-nosed kids can prod with their grubby hands and the elderly can squeeze muttering, “Oooh that’s a bit stale, our Bob.”
  3. I find a fantastic blog, only for the owner not to leave an email address for me to contact. I mean, what’s the point in blogging if no one can get hold of you?
  4. Why do people enter a shop, and then stop. Dead. You are unable to go around them because of people exiting the store, and so are forced to stop too.
  5. Why are instructions always ignored? If I ask for a short bio and book blurb don’t just send me a link to your website and expect to me do your finding for you.
  6. Why do kids need you the instant you enter the bathroom?
  7. As soon as the good weather hits why’d people take to their cars and clog the roads?
  8. You know you’re getting old when you have a sudden urge to spit on a hanky and wipe “that muck” (makeup) off a young girl’s face.
  9. You know your child watches too much TV because he tells all and sundry to “Calm down dear” or “my clothes needs more Calgon, mummy” or some other slogan from the adverts.
  10. Why do people assume I know who they are when emailing me. Use the subject line for information not, “Hi there!”.
  11. You finally get the house to youself, and settle down to write but a well-meaning friend arrives with a bottle of wine saying “I knew you were alone and would appreciate company.”
  12. You know you’re a bad mother when child asks to be put to bed (you’re engrossed in writing).


4 thoughts on “Grumpy Observations from a middle-aged tart.

  1. My bugbear is people assuming you're rich because you've written a book and – hate this – ask how much you're earning! What's it to do with them!
    I wouldn't dream of asking how much they earned in their dreary 9to5 job.


  2. Thanks Anon, I'll have to add that one! If I had a penny for the amount of people who told me that too, well, I'd be rich.

    Rant away, Clair. It's good to let off steam.


  3. If you mention you have written or are writing a book to a nonwriter they will immediately say, 'I could write a book if I had the time.'

    Are they assuming we're bored and have nothing to do so think, I know, let's write a book!



  4. Hi Louise, yes, it's sooo annoying when you're mid-work-in-progress and someone distracts you – because it's not really working, is it? Grrr! I think a grumpy writer's blog would be fab – I can think of lots of things to moan on about.

    Have a good day, Clair.


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